1. Morning sickness. It doesn’t magically stop at the end of the first trimester. In my case, it eased off after 18 weeks.

2. Food. Despite all the healthy food advice, you’ll find yourself eating whatever you can keep down. For about 4 weeks at the height of the morning sickness phase I lived on cookies and orange ice pops.

3. More food. I didn’t really have cravings (apart from a penchant for lamb and mint crisps in my second trimester) but I went off certain foods: chicken, cheese – anything stronger than mild cheddar and smoothies and couldn’t bear the sight or smell of them, let alone the taste.

4. Thrush. If you don’t have it at least once during your pregnancy or just after, you’re very lucky.

5. Low iron levels. The joy of iron tablets. When you do manage to squeeze out a poo it is hard, black/green and smells a bit strange.

6. Blood tests. I lost count of the number of times a needle was stuck into my arm.

7. Peeing. Into teeny tiny bottles at the ante-natal clinic. As the pregnancy wears on it becomes impossible to aim properly or get a decent amount into the bottle as you can’t see what you’re aiming at due to the large bump blocking your view. I once scooped some out of the toilet as I hadn’t managed to get any in the bottle.

8. Urine/kidney infections. G decided to have a little rest on my kidney for a few days and I ended up in hospital on an antibiotics drip. Not a pleasant way to spend a Sunday afternoon.

9. Size. If you go anywhere near full-term with twins you’ll be bloody massive by the time you give birth. Even walking downstairs is a struggle.

10. Extra large size. Everyone marvels at how big your bump is, how you manage to walk properly and keep your (low slung) maternity jeans up. You will get called a weeble at least once. Towards the end, everything hurts.

11. Fetal Assessment Unit. It will become a second home during the third trimester so it’s worth getting to know the ladies there – aside from the snotty one who has clearly never had children. I went in so much in the last few weeks that they started asking after the girls by name when I went in for monitoring: ‘Has Grace been moving around much today? Come on Ruth I know you’re in there somewhere…’

12. The number of scans. I had 8 in total (including the two routine ones) and I had a reasonably straightforward pregnancy.

13. Bump fondlers. What is it about a large bump that compels random strangers to approach you in the street/shopping centre/Pizza Hut, ask ridiculously intimate questions and without any warning, reach out a hand and cop a good feel?

14. The ante-natal clinic waiting room. Sometimes it is almost worth the 90 minute wait to watch the live action version of the Jeremy Kyle show unfolding across the room. Never has the phrase ‘all human life is here’ been more vividly brought to live. Watch, learn and try not to gawp too much.

15. Friends. Some disappear the moment you announce you are pregnant because you can’t get drunk with them any more. However, new friends come along to take their place. You renew friendships with old school friends because they already have children, or are pregnant at the same time as you. Casual acquaintances become really good friends for the same reasons.

16. You’ll never, ever forget the moment you find out you’re having twins

17. You’ll never ever forget how you felt when you find out the sex of your babies.

18. At some point in your pregnancy, someone will tell you how amazing you are for carrying two babies. Very good for the ego.

19. Good, bad or indifferent, you’ll never forget those nine months of your life and it doesn’t seem quite so bad when you look back on it afterwards.