So, I’ve done a full day at work, ferried the girls backwards and forwards to nursery (our route takes is through one of the worst traffic black spots in the country), dh is working late, I’ve done bedtime on my own and the girls are absolutely screaming their heads off. They are absolutely exhausted but massively overstimulated. They have been in their cots for about 20 minutes and I’ve been up to pat-shush and kiss them on the head them twice. They are rubbing their eyes and actually waking themselves up to roar and roar. I really, really don’t need this. There’s nothing I can do except go up and reassure them every so often and basically just leave them to cry it out.
I don’t get how babies can be completely exhausted yet decide that they ARE TOO TRIED TO SLEEP SO THEY MUST LET THE WHOLE STREET KNOW ABOUT IT.
I bet you’re thinking ‘God she’s cruel. I’d never leave a baby to cry themselves to sleep’. Well, f**k you. They aren’t left for hours and hours. I go up every so often and give them some reassurance but there’s very little else I can do. I can’t pick them both up at the same time and in any case, I don’t want them to learn that they’ll get rewarded with cuddles if they cry for a while.
I know what you’re thinking. I was like you once. Pre babies, I used to marvel at how horrible mothers could be to their poor defenceless babies. Putting them into routines and using ‘controlled crying’ techniques sounded utterly barbaric to me. I wouldn’t subject my babies to that. Well, I’m on the other side now and let me tell you, it’s bloody hard.
They are normally pretty good with sleep, it’s just a couple of nights a week that they are like this (usually after a day at nursery) and it’s unfortunate that I’m on my own tonight – and for the next 5 nights actually. It sometimes happens when dh is here but at least we can help each other out when it gets too unbearable.
There’s nothing actually wrong with them. They are fed, changed, clean and comfortable. Their room is at the right temperature. They aren’t wearing too many bedclothes. I’ve put teething gel on as a precautionary measure. They are just tired. Probably too tired.
Three times. They are now absolutely hysterical. I got so fed-up with the gentle shushing that I’ve just bellowed SHHHHHHHHHHHHUUUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHH FOR GOD’S SAKE at them. I remember that the monitor is on downstairs and the window is open and the whole area has probably just heard how badly this is going.
I bet our nosey neighbours are absolutely LOVING this. They may have to live next door to babies but at least they can bitch and moan to everyone in the street about how awful it is. That mother of theirs doesn’t cope very well with them. Some people shouldn’t have children if they can’t cope with them, etc. etc.
Best of all, you try and tell anyone this, try and explain the awfulness of this situation, that you need help and don’t know where to turn and you’d just love to share the burden with someone other than dh and they simply don’t want to hear it. They smile indulgently and say: ‘Oh it must be hard work. You cope ever so well. Anyway, I’m off to enjoy my life. Let me know when the babies are happy, smiley and dressed up and we’ll come and visit. No actually, we’re a bit busy so perhaps you’d better come to us. No, actually we’re too busy to see you so you’ll just have to get on with it. Did I say how well you’re coping with twins? We just love boasting about you all.’
It’s now 45 minutes since they went to bed. 35 minutes since they started roaring. I guess I’d better go up there again, for all the good it’ll do. They’ll quieten down while I’m up there and the moment I close the door they’ll start roaring again.
I heard somewhere that they randomly play the noise of a crying baby into the cells at Guantanamo Bay during the night as a form of torture. I can see why. Even when my babies stop crying, I can still hear them in my head.
Four times. I’ve just spent the last five minutes going from cot to cot, comforting my poor exhausted, still screaming babies. I’ve come back downstairs and they are still screaming. The gaps between screaming bouts are getting longer as they get progressively more tired but it’s still hard to listen to.
I haven’t had a chance to think about dinner yet. Bedtime for me is 9.30 these days so I can cope with getting up at 6.30 am and the (thankfully now) occasional night waking. If I eat much now, it won’t settle before I go to bed and I’ll feel uncomfortable.
Just as I think they are calming down, they start up again. I’ve had to turn the monitor down as my head is throbbing. I can still hear them though.
At least writing this takes my mind off this ordeal a little bit. It’s now an hour since I put them to bed and they are starting to quieten down. I think the ordeal may be nearly over. Nope, one of them has started up again.
Oh God. I’ll give them some credit. They have staying power. I couldn’t cry for this long.
AAAAARRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH.
I’d better go up there again.